always.

4/3/10

It is my mind speaking.

Have you ever been in a situation that greater than what you can handle? I am in one right now. And, honestly, I have no idea how to deal with this. I strategize and plan, only to find myself failing still. You can say I'm worn out; You can say i'm confused; You can say i'm physically drained out, and a whole lot of other things. well, yes, yes, yes and yes.

I have been all those things in the past few days. Some people think that i'm really strong. But maybe that's just a facade of how weak I really am when no one's watching. It's because I don't want other people to worry about me, or that I would add to other people's misery in life. So that's why I hide in the shell of my sorrow and inconvenience. I definitely want to be strong for my family and all the people around me who loves me, especially that they too have been affected by this. It's really been stormy in my own personal forecast that i can't function adequately lately. It's just that it's hard to go to bed and try to sleep well when you know someone thinks of you as "something", you know for certain, you really aren't. And when you do get to sleep, you always wake-up countless times in the middle of the night to take restroom breaks. Or by the time, you do get well-rested, the sun is already up, but somehow you wish that you never have to rise and face the day anymore. I can't even listen closely or pay attention to what my prosfessors' been lecturing on this past week. Nor can I eat well and actually enjoy what I'm eating. It's heart-wrenching and very mind-boggling. It's life-wrecking and joy-stealing.

If you're a reader and you're reading this blog and you really really have no idea what I'm talking about. Well, forgive me, I just wanna vent out my frustrations because I'm really so frustrated right now. However, the main reason why I'm yapping is because I'm really hurting right now- hurt that other people finalized a judgement about me. I know for certain that we are not suppose to judge. But how come some people say things like that? I accept the fact that I have done something wrong, but no one's perfect anyway. Right? And I really want to shoo my pride away and apologize, but I don't know if they're even open for that. I'm also hurt that they have to put all the blame on me without even trying to dig within them if they had their share of mishaps in the situation. I guess, because some people never allow someone to grow up, that they never held the person that's suppose to be really responsible be corrected for their own actions. So I have to be the escape goat. I'm not cleaning up my name. I love the person, and everyone concerned. But I can't help but ask why me? I know I'm not "Miss Goody Two-Shoes" who never ever commits a mistake.

I do, I do a lot of screwing up. But I'm far far far from being "Cruella Devil" either. I even reached out to those people whom i believe should be concerned about this but they never gave me the time of day.

What do I have to do? I don't know anymore.

I know what I did was wrong. I started off the wrong foot. And it's sad because I didn't see that coming. Somehow, I wish things were different. But I can't turn back time. And i can't change minds as well. I just feel so sorry: First of all, for myself (good one Mics, you just blew it), and second of all, to the people I've offended. I know it's better sometimes to just ignore things and move on. But I guess, it's best to fix things and reconcile. I'm really sorry I hope y'all can forgive me. And I wish I will have the chance to tell you this in person.

3/7/10

Tagboard. ♥

Want your blog link to be in links? ♥
Well, this is where you leave a message.. you could also use formspring. (I am open for any questions.)
Format?
your blog link
name you want me to put there, example "Naruto" something like that
Last of all, your blog must not contain nudity, porn and any illegal activities. I will be checking your blog if there is any.

New year, new look!

Yes, you're still in mynameisntmica.blogspot.com/

I know, I know my last post was last year. I decided to finally update this because.. I dont know. So welcome to my new page.
Me? How am I? I'm pretty good. Today was pretty busy, well just this morning. I was at Crocker Barrel.. and why am I there? Well, of course, duh to eat breakfast. After that we went to Krisha's house who was still sleeping to arrange her party for her.. Of course she doesnt know..
It was really funny because when she woke up.. She told us that she thought that there were burglars in her house. lol. Yeah, so it went really great. So, until here, I mean *ahem* until my next blog post. Ciao!

Ps. Dont forget to leave a comment on my tagboard. Muchos love. ♥


Mics. Taken. 3teen. Asian. Im-- mature. CRAZYZARC. Wild at heart. Friendly. Zombies? Ninjas? l o v e; ▪ Aicee ▪ Ellie ▪ Lein ▪ Liz ▪ Llyanz ▪ Saber ▪ Telay ▪ Tinay Leave me a message in my formspring. Mail me here. More post? Here you go. August 2009 November 2009 March 2010 April 2010 Exit here. ♥	4/3/10 It is my mind speaking. Have you ever been in a situation that greater than what you can handle? I am in one right now. And, honestly, I have no idea how to deal with this. I strategize and plan, only to find myself failing still. You can say I'm worn out; You can say i'm confused; You can say i'm physically drained out, and a whole lot of other things. well, yes, yes, yes and yes. I have been all those things in the past few days. Some people think that i'm really strong. But maybe that's just a facade of how weak I really am when no one's watching. It's because I don't want other people to worry about me, or that I would add to other people's misery in life. So that's why I hide in the shell of my sorrow and inconvenience. I definitely want to be strong for my family and all the people around me who loves me, especially that they too have been affected by this. It's really been stormy in my own personal forecast that i can't function adequately lately. It's just that it's hard to go to bed and try to sleep well when you know someone thinks of you as "something", you know for certain, you really aren't. And when you do get to sleep, you always wake-up countless times in the middle of the night to take restroom breaks. Or by the time, you do get well-rested, the sun is already up, but somehow you wish that you never have to rise and face the day anymore. I can't even listen closely or pay attention to what my prosfessors' been lecturing on this past week. Nor can I eat well and actually enjoy what I'm eating. It's heart-wrenching and very mind-boggling. It's life-wrecking and joy-stealing. If you're a reader and you're reading this blog and you really really have no idea what I'm talking about. Well, forgive me, I just wanna vent out my frustrations because I'm really so frustrated right now. However, the main reason why I'm yapping is because I'm really hurting right now- hurt that other people finalized a judgement about me. I know for certain that we are not suppose to judge. But how come some people say things like that? I accept the fact that I have done something wrong, but no one's perfect anyway. Right? And I really want to shoo my pride away and apologize, but I don't know if they're even open for that. I'm also hurt that they have to put all the blame on me without even trying to dig within them if they had their share of mishaps in the situation. I guess, because some people never allow someone to grow up, that they never held the person that's suppose to be really responsible be corrected for their own actions. So I have to be the escape goat. I'm not cleaning up my name. I love the person, and everyone concerned. But I can't help but ask why me? I know I'm not "Miss Goody Two-Shoes" who never ever commits a mistake. I do, I do a lot of screwing up. But I'm far far far from being "Cruella Devil" either. I even reached out to those people whom i believe should be concerned about this but they never gave me the time of day. What do I have to do? I don't know anymore. I know what I did was wrong. I started off the wrong foot. And it's sad because I didn't see that coming. Somehow, I wish things were different. But I can't turn back time. And i can't change minds as well. I just feel so sorry: First of all, for myself (good one Mics, you just blew it), and second of all, to the people I've offended. I know it's better sometimes to just ignore things and move on. But I guess, it's best to fix things and reconcile. I'm really sorry I hope y'all can forgive me. And I wish I will have the chance to tell you this in person. 8:28 AM · 3/7/10 Tagboard. ♥ <br /><a href="http://www6.shoutmix.com/?mics27">View shoutbox</a><br /> Want your blog link to be in links? ♥ Well, this is where you leave a message.. you could also use formspring. (I am open for any questions.) *Format?* your blog link name you want me to put there, example "Naruto" something like that Last of all, your blog must not contain nudity, porn and any illegal activities. I will be checking your blog if there is any. 3:10 PM · New year, new look! Yes, you're still in mynameisntmica.blogspot.com/ I know, I know my last post was last year. I decided to finally update this because.. I dont know. So welcome to my new page. Me? How am I? I'm pretty good. Today was pretty busy, well just this morning. I was at Crocker Barrel.. and why am I there? Well, of course, duh to eat breakfast. After that we went to Krisha's house who was still sleeping to arrange her party for her.. Of course she doesnt know.. It was really funny because when she woke up.. She told us that she thought that there were burglars in her house. lol. Yeah, so it went really great. So, until here, I mean ahem until my next blog post. Ciao! Ps. Dont forget to leave a comment on my tagboard. Muchos love. ♥ 2:44 PM ·